Suck/lame: The mustache
We continue our mission of clearly defining those people, things, ideas, thoughts, actions and other nouns and verbs of questionable suckitude with the studliest facial hair this side of the fu manchu, the mustache.
Mustaches aren’t just for porn stars and 1970s cop shows anymore. The lip-warmer is back in a big way, baby. It looks cool, suave and so, so manly. Whether we are talking about one of the mustache greats like Burt Reynolds or Tom Selleck, or a newcomer to the ’stache party like college basketball star Adam Morrison, there’s no question that it takes a special kind of man to do the whiskers justice. Oh, who are we kidding? Mustaches are goofy, not to mention creepy. We only like them in an ironic way. And any dude with just a ’stache probably can’t grow a full beard.
So, is the mustache awesome, or awesomely bad? In other words, does it suck? Vote until NOON FRIDAY. Results will be posted soon after.
posted by Steve Hyden @ 12:19 PM
20 Comments:
Not suck.
My dad's had a mustache my entire life. If he ever shaved it, I would be mortified. It's him.
Some people can't pull it off, but I can't hate on it. I'm a daddy's girl, and I think dads are pardoned from mustache-suckitude.
I think if you can pull it off, go for it.
Not suck.
However, chops should be banned forever.
The stache rules so hard. I mean, just off the top of my head there's Rollie Fingers, Hulk Hogan AND the Iron Sheik, Geraldo Rivera, Ned Flanders, John Stossel, Goose Gossage, Frank Zappa, Dick Dastardly, the Pringles dude, every snooty Frenchman, practically every member of the Village People, practically every famous dictator. Not that dictators are cool, but there's a reason they grow out the stache. And a reason I can't. Emphatic not suck.
My friend's dad, who is the ultimate in fabulous dads (other than my own), has the handlebar, and it's AWESOME.
Still can't hate on 'em.
Wait. Unless you're Nick from CSI and you randomly grow a porn star stache for a couple episodes. Why? Ew.
On anyone but Dave, it's OK. Unless you're 15 and trying to prove you're a man. Then it's just blond and nasty. Stop it.
But, not suck.
I think I am in love!
Yes Steve, put that one on you myspace.
i hate to admit this, but not long ago i was completely in love with a dude who had a stache. or at least i totally wanted to bone him.
so i'd have to say sucks.
because i'm ashamed of myself.
That pic of Steve as a woman is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I almost peed myself.
This is a really difficult one to vote on. Sometimes mustaches are ok, and sometimes - on certain people - they are just nasty and give me the willies. However, like Krista, my dad has one and he is cool. Dads can't suck so NOT SUCK. -r
All I can say is, freaking Magnum P.I.
Not suck.
"i hate to admit this, but not long ago i was completely in love with a dude who had a stache. or at least i totally wanted to bone him."
I'll be throwing away my razor now.
I have a friend who dated a guy with a really cheesy looking mustache that we named "The Pimpstache". She eventually broke up with the guy cuz she just couldn't take it anymore. -r
First off, Not suck.
Let's look at it this way. For every one Magnum or Pringles Dude, there are 50 Bucky Covingtons. That's why we have the debate.
He's that guy on American Idol with like 10 or 12 thin mustache hairs...He should just wear a T-shirt saying, "Hey ladies, I'm in the middle of puberty. Pretty cool, Huh?"
Therefore, it's not the mustache that sucks, but rather the personal decision on the appropriateness of wearing one.
Nothing says manly man like a nice shrubby, yet well groomed push broom draped across the upper lip.
But for those without a half-full testosterone tank, the decision to play farmer and turn that lip into a whisker field can mean tragedy in the "gettin with the ladies" department.
not suck.
you gotta give love to the stache.
i am neutural on this one
because, it depends the person with the stache
it depends the style
and how well taken care of it is
so it is
neutural
Mustaches do not suck.
I will not go in to detail as to why, that would be tmi for y'all to handle.
the mustache can be ironic as well as just powerful. I vote not suck.
tom selleck mustache makes him look more like a cowboy and a man it is not creepy tom selleck has great movies out there and with the mustache it will make him a better actor
Krista, I totally agree about Mr. CSI and the stache. It was horrible! (So horrible, in fact, that I felt compelled to email CBS. Never done that before.)
Moustaches reek of B-movie porn star, with few exception such as Magnum and my uncle Philip.
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