Under 30

I can't complain but sometimes I still do

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Suck/lame: Michael Jackson

We continue our mission of clearly defining those people, things, ideas, thoughts, actions and other nouns and verbs of questionable suckitude with the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

If you grew up in the 1970s and ’80s, Jackson probably was a big part of your childhood. “Thriller” wasn’t merely a popular album that spawned a number of hit singles that got played on the radio and MTV a lot. It was the rarest kind of pop culture phenomenon: An inescapable presence that still was incredibly likeable. It seemed for many years that the Gloved One could do no wrong. He was, without question, the coolest mamajama on the planet. Of course, it’s shocking how ridiculous it seems to call Michael Jackson “cool” in 2006. Today’s middle school kids must find it inconceivable that the twice-accused child molester was once the biggest star in the world. The singer hasn’t made headlines for his music since the first Bush administration. As great as a song like “Billie Jean” is, it’s difficult not to think of the man’s proclivity for the company of children when he sings about adult sexual relationships. Yeah, I'm as disgusted writing that as you are reading it.

So, is Michael Jackson still a great singer despite recent controversy, or a scary freak who had a few hits long ago? In other words, does he suck? Vote until noon Friday.

31 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

kidding, right?

suck, suck, suckety-suck.

12:01 PM  
Anonymous cheddar said...

Um, we're speaking about one of the Michael Triumvirate: Jackson, Jordan and Tyson.

Jordan is not diminished cuz he played with the *gulp* Wizards, cheated on his wife regularly and gambled with drug dealers.

Tyson is not diminished because he went certifiably insane and became a shell of himself in the ring.

And Jackson is not diminished because his career's gone in the toilet and he makes Tyson look like Ben Stein.

Come on ... Billie Jean? Dirty Diana? Don't Stop Til You Get Enough? PYT? Those cannot be hated on.

Not suck

12:25 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

He's super creepy. I'm scared of him. However, I can get down with his music. Back when he was black he seemed pretty cool... and much better looking too. The person he has become sucks.

Suck.

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Gavin said...

If we're talking about the man, SUCK. If you mean the music, NOT SUCK.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

We're talking about the totality. So make a decision, dude.

12:40 PM  
Blogger paul said...

Suppose pop culture's hard drive was getting full, would I be willing to delete the Michael Jackson folder to make room? Eddie Van Halen's solo in "Beat It" notwithstanding, yes I would.

Sucks.

1:19 PM  
Blogger mark said...

Not suck.

We're talking the "i'm insane and i'm selling moccasins" dude. I have respect for many of the causes he's undertaken in his lifetime. He's metahporically touched a lot of people on this planet.

random information: My coworker Tom sat next to Michael Jackson back in the 7th grade.

1:24 PM  
Anonymous kbl said...

I don't know if he sucks, but I'm pretty certain he swallows.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kbl... good use of a classic. Don't leave any hanging chads though.

2:20 PM  
Anonymous K said...

Not suck.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

I, uh, own all of his albums.
All. of. them.
Which is possibly creepy, but I'm over it.

He maybe - scratch that - he definitely sleeps with small children, but he made some good music.

I can't be a hater. Not suck.

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Black Michael Jackson, Not Suck
Creepy whitish "I've only had two plastic surgeries" Michael Jackson:
SUCK!

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos for actually putting two interesting subjects in a row on the chopping block.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

Please remember to clearly state your vote, suck or not suck, at some point in your post.

I mean, we love your witty commentary at Under 30 HQ. It's all the rage at the water cooler. But we need clearly stated votes.

Otherwise you ain't gonna be counted.

-- The Management

2:52 PM  
Anonymous kbl said...

I'm an American citizen. You can't make me vote, even if my life and livelihood depend on it. Take your draconian pronouncements to Australia.

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Beth J said...

He can dance, does not suck!

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...we love your witty commentary ..."

Whitty blog and myspace commentin' is gets old. Internet whit Sucks.

how about that one for next week.

MJ=not suck.

5:42 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I need internet wit to get me through my workday. Please don't take it from me.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous kbl said...

"Whitty blog and myspace commentin' is gets old. Internet whit Sucks."

Pardon? I didn't quite catch that.

And I'll give into the pressure. I am going to go with not suck, much though it pains me. I think the quality of the work and the amont of enjoyment it engenders trumps whatever the artist may do in his/her personal life.

Man, I am so going to regret that when we put Leni Riefenstahl up for debate. Of course, I left out results...

8:35 PM  
Blogger klhp said...

"The person he has become sucks." -- jen

I totally agree. I had most of the "Thriller" album memorized when I was four. I had the Michael Jackson karaoke microphone complete with one sparkly white glove. (There are home videos to prove it.) He is, inarguably, a genius. But as we know, with genius often comes insanity. His childhood (or at least what I learned from the VH1 made-for-TV movie) was horrible, with many forms of abuse and without normal parental limits. As a result, he has withered into a scary, scary shell who has poor judgment and a highly inappropriate love of children.

Had you asked me in 1982, I would have said not suck.

Today, sadly, it is SUCK.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Not suck. I'm not ashamed. I'll say it again. Not suck.

10:21 PM  
Anonymous e4life said...

Orenthal is one of the greatest running backs ever, but also a murderer (err, allegedly). So he sucks.

Jacko is one of the greatest pop stars ever, but also a child molester (err, allegedly).

So I have to say Jacko also sucks.

Which is too bad, because "Thriller" is absolute gold, Jerry, GOLD.

10:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the music too, but the dude is definitely creepy. I have to say "SUCK" or I won't be able to sleep tonight.

SUCK
-r

10:41 AM  
Blogger AngelAiken AKA Thee U.M.O.G said...

him as a person, no interest.
very strange.

music? excellent, I own multiple copies of most everything.

Mikey's ok, I think he was abused when he was younger, with all I have read it sounds that way and I think he deserves more credit than he gets.
People look at the man on the surface, the creepy facade but behind it I think he died a long time ago.

The reason he created the facade was to gain attention, but it backfired on him. I know what this feels like, I used to do it and I am trying to not do it anymore.

In short, Michael just needs help, he doesn't suck.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Thomas Roz said...

i'm disappointed that Under 30's grand tradition of using the worst possible photos of nominees did not include that Michael Jackson stubble shot with half of his silly putty nose falling off. c'mon, dude totally sucks. would you be in awe of michael jackson if you met him now? no way. and if you had kids, you'd be totally freaked out at the prospect of them even touching his hand.

the "thriller" card was spent 15 years ago. it's all about jesus juice and webster jokes now. at least we have tito.

1:35 PM  
Anonymous MMW said...

I too had the MJ microphone and white glove growing up. No matter how crazy and creepy he gets, his music and videos were ground-breaking and the man (errr...yeah, man) can sing! If he hadn't turned himself into a white woman he'd probably still be at the top of the charts. I'm not thinking about his personal life, but his talent.

NOT SUCK!!

2:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting. Among my peer group it was never cool to like Michael Jackson, even during the Thriller era.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Incidently, that is a vote for "sucks".

1:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Creepy,but not sucky....

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steve Hyden, have you taken a good look at yourself? Before you and your moron buddies judge someone else, you should look in the mirror. LOL. You're just jealous, get over it already.

Michael is a legend, he is a thrill!!

8:03 AM  
Blogger mark said...

hey anon.. i said not suck . so stop judging me.

5:56 PM  

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