Five movies that make me cry

On a recent episode of “The Sopranos,” Johnny Sack broke down in tears while being dragged from his daughter’s wedding by police. Almost immediately, right-hand man Phil questioned his manhood. If the cops can make you cry, what else can they make you do?

I’m neither ashamed nor scared to admit I enjoy a hearty man cry every now and then. I might feel differently if faced with potential whacking (as opposed to mocking) from my so-called friends, but I’ll chalk that one up as another benefit of not being in the mob. (No. 1 benefit of being in the mob? The best table at the Copa when Bobby Vinton is in town. At least that’s what I learned from “Goodfellas.”)
I don’t cry at weddings, but I do cry at movies. In fact, there are five movies guaranteed to make me cry every time I see them.

1. “Rocky III”: Actually, the Mr. T installment of the Rocky saga doesn’t make me cry. But it taught me it’s OK for a man to shed a tear.

Sylvester Stallone wept like Stephanie Stallone when trainer Mickey died before Rocky’s first fight with Clubber Lang. When I saw “Rocky III” on HBO at age 6 or 7, not only did I think it wasn’t cool for grown-up dudes to cry, I thought men literally couldn’t cry. I figured your tear ducts dried up and fell out of your skull during puberty or something. Rocky taught me even the toughest guys go the Niagra Falls route when the situation allows, and I’ve been a blubbery baby ever since.



2. “E.T.” : This movie came out back when Steven Spielberg thought aliens were nice little creatures that drank domestic beer, not faceless killing machines, and it’s still one of my favorite movies ever. Why? Because “E.T.” makes me weep. Not cry, weep. And not a quick little weep, but a colossal, full-box-of-Kleenex weep.

There are five moments in “E.T.” that make me cry. I probably won’t cry at every moment during a particular viewing, but at least one will get me: (1) When E.T. and Elliott fly on the bike for the first time; (2) When E.T. dies; (3) When E.T. comes back to life; (4) When E.T., Elliott and the other boys fly on their bikes to escape the feds; (5) When E.T. points to Elliott’s chest and says “I’ll be right here.”

OK, I started to get that pre-weep sinus tingle while typing “I’ll be right here,” so we better move on to the next movie.



3. “Field of Dreams”: This is the best male tearjerker of all-time. Yes, it’s cheesy and kind of creepy. (If you replaced Kevin Costner with Kirk Cameron, “Field of Dreams” would be a sports-oriented “Left Behind” movie.) But even the most macho man on the planet will cry at the end when Costner asks his dad’s ghost if he wants to have a catch. What guy doesn’t want to have one more catch with his dad?





4. “The Karate Kid”: I woke up with a wicked hangover on a recent Sunday morning, and “The Karate Kid” nursed me back to clearheadedness. Many people turn to church for clarity on a Sunday morning, but a sermon from Rev. Pat Morita is just as enriching. It’s also emotional. When Daniel San kicks Johnny in the face with the crane technique to win the karate tournament, I lost it like I always do.





5. “Schindler’s List” : Another movie from Spielberg, a man whose tear-inducing skills are rivaled only by Simon Cowell. I saw “Schindler’s List” again recently and made a concerted effort not to cry, because crying at “Schindler’s List” is such a cliche. (Maybe I could have made out with somebody a la “Seinfeld.) But, alas, my stiff upper lip came crumbling down as soon as Oskar Schindler cursed his Nazi pin for not allowing him to save one more Jew. From there, it was major league sniffles as the real-life Schindler Jews visited his grave.

I cry regularly at “E.T.” How could I think I was strong enough to resist “Schindler’s List”? I bet even Phil would get misty-eyed over that one.

So, what movies make you guys cry? Be honest...