Summer concert etiquette guide

Summer concerts are a lot of fun, but they also are havens for dumb behavior. The nicest, most upstanding people can be turned into blithering idiots and inconsiderate blowhards after only a few minutes of rockin’.

Somebody has to stop the “Free Bird!”-yelling, beer-spilling and hippie-dancing fools from wrecking shows for the rest of us. So here is a handy guide for proper concert etiquette. Study up, because we’ll know who didn’t and wish you weren’t standing next to us.

Alcohol: It begins and ends here. If there were no alcohol at concerts, there wouldn't be any nincompoopery from concert-goers. There probably wouldn't be any concert-goers period.

The big no-no with beer is spilling it on the guy or gal in front of you. This happens way too much. Usually the beer holder is using the same hand for beer and fist pumping, which results in spillage during the really good songs. That’s no problem if you are the beer holder, but having Miller Lite all over your back is a real buzzkill when you are trying to groove out to “Don't Come Around Here No More.”
In short, don't drink if you can't handle it. Getting totally wasted and acting like a nimrod isn't cool and makes you look like an amateur.

Song requests: Let's say you are going to see Toby Keith in June at Country USA. Let’s also say your favorite song is “Whiskey Girl.” Before you start screaming, “Play the one about whiskey and girls!” every five minutes, keep in mind that “Whiskey Girl” was a hit and most likely will be played. You just have to be patient. And don't get freaked out if Keith stops the show to say a few words between songs. Not many performers do this kind of thing so it's kind of a treat. Don't ruin it by screaming or whistling over them.

Dancing: You have to get down if you go to a show. It's part of the ritual. But never forget about the most sacred possession of any concertgoer: personal space. You don’t have much at an outdoor festival, which only makes it more precious. Try to keep any grinding, line dancing or waltzing in your own area, please. And never dance with a beer in your hand. (See alcohol section.)

Standing: Most concerts require standing for several hours. Some people get to the venue early to get a good spot on the floor, only to have some latecomer cut in front of them at the last second. While frustrating for the early bird, this isn’t a breach of etiquette. A crowd constantly shifts during a show, and there’s a good chance you will end up in front of Joe Budder soon enough.

What is unacceptable, however, is standing on a chair or bleacher seat when you know darn well this blocks the person behind you. Also, don’t put your girlfriend on your shoulders so she can see better. Look, we all know you love each other. Now put her down so we can see the Allman Brothers play “Midnight Rider.”

What do you guys think? Am I missing anything? This is gonna be in print next week as part of our summer concert preview, and I'm looking to make it definitive.