Even Satan is a sell out

June 6, 2006 comes up next week, and the world's great marketing minds are rushing to take advantage of the most Satanic day calendar.

It's the day 20th Century Fox picked to release its remake of the 1976 satanic horror flick The Omen, about a demonic boy Damien born with a 666 birthmark. Promos warn: "6+6+06 HEED THE OMEN."

Studio executives saw the potential early in script development, says Fox Filmed Entertainment CEO Tom Rothman.

"Suddenly the movie became cooler," he says. "We were being spoken to."

When Hollywood studios plot for years to release movies on a "cool" day that just happens to have a date of dubious significance, it's no wonder why movies have tanked at the box office for the past two years. The Devil clearly is severing his ties with these people. Wouldn't you after being embarrassed like this?

Even bonafide Satanists are screwing up the big day.

Also on Tuesday, thrash-metal band Slayer will release Eternal Pyre, a five-tune EP, through teen store Hot Topic. It seems like a hex was put on their more elaborate plans for the day: The plans to release the full album were thwarted when they couldn't secure studio time, and the scheduled launch on Tuesday of their "Unholy Alliance" tour was thwarted by a band member's unexpected gallbladder surgery.

Disturbingly dark death metal group Deicide, led by a Satanist front man, will mark the day with two new songs on iTunes from its upcoming album The Stench of Redemption. It, too, had a devil of a time trying to get the whole album out on the day.

"It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but in the end it didn't work out," says Zeena Koda, a spokeswoman for its label, Earache.

That's right, kids. 6/6/06 is a day so evil, only gallbladder surgery can thwart it.