Under 30

I can't complain but sometimes I still do

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

This is why my friend Dave calls him "Deucenport"

The Seattle Times did an entertaining story on the top 20 dumbest crimes committed by college athletes.

It's a funny piece, but as my idols at Deadspin pointed out, the Seattle Times reporter failed to mentioned one of the greatest dumb dumb jock capers ever: Najeh Davenport's dump.

For the uninitated, I'll let them explain.

While not technically an incident that took place in a bathroom, one of the most famous excretory mishaps is worthy of much note. In 2002, Green Bay Packers running back Najeh Davenport, for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, snuck into a woman's dorm room at the University of Miami and defecated in her closet. The woman said she had never met Davenport and was as dumbfounded as anyone. Davenport ultimately pleaded guilty to the charges and was sentenced to community service.

To this day, Davenport denies the charges and claims innocence. "Where's the evidence? Where's the manure?'' Davenport said. "I know I didn't do it—I just wanted to get it over with." The prosecutor in the case noted that "charges would have not been filed if there were no evidence," though he admitted that the excrement was not preserved because poo cannot not yield DNA samples and therefore would have been "useless."


To paraphrase "Spinal Tap," you can dust for poo.

10 Comments:

Anonymous gavin said...

Seriously, stop in to Dr. Jekyll's. Ask the bartender about the drink named after Davenport becuase of this mishap.

Delicious!!!

2:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

television: where the packers suck.

6:33 AM  
Anonymous lori said...

i appreciate that there's a reporter out there named "bud withers."

i think i'll change my byline.

maybe

"pot wilts"

or

"hud woothers"

or

"scram tangle"

is it friday yet?

9:32 AM  
Anonymous gavin said...

lmao @ lori

4:22 PM  
Anonymous gavin said...

lmao @ lori

4:23 PM  
Blogger darlene said...

I just think that Oregon State has a funny mascot name, Benny Beaver. Oh wait, don't we have a Bucky Badger....

10:56 PM  
Anonymous lori said...

if gavin thinks i'm funny, is that a good thing?

1:29 PM  
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12:05 PM  

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