Under 30

I can't complain but sometimes I still do

Friday, March 03, 2006

Does he suck?/Is he lame? results

First of all, I want to thank everybody for voting. There were 23 votes cast and more than 60 Robin-related posts. Without you and your votes, democracy doesn't work.

Hey, do you remember that scene in "Mrs. Doubtfire" when Robin Williams throws an orange at Pierce Bronson's head and calls it "a drive-by fruiting"? Well, I have just been fruited. Inexplicably, Under 30 readers voted that Robin Williams doesn't suck/isn't lame by a decisive 14-to-9 margin.

Massive sigh.

Robin voters were very passionate in their defense, claiming Mork has starred in dozens of masterpieces over the years like "Dead Poets Society," "Awakenings," "Good Will Hunting," "Dead Poets Society," "Awakenings," "Good Will Hunting" and, last but not least, "Dead Poets Society." The vote would be even more lopsided than it is if the most passionate Robin voters had remembered to say "Not suck" at the end of their posts. Live and learn.

The most impassioned Robin's supporter was unquestionably "Bryan Adams Fan," who credited Mork with rescuing him from post-divorce despair: He was so funny. And inspirational.From that point on, I made a point to see anything and everything I could related to Robin Williams. My new wife loves him too. Robin is something we share. By insinuating that Robin sucks, you're insinuating that I suck, and I don't. And neither does the man who brought me back from a serious depth of dispair.

B.A.F., I didn't insinuate anything. I said it plainly: Robin Williams sucks. As for you, well, I don't know you. At least, I don't think I do...

Look, I officially have no clue what the hell is going on. We have now done five Does he suck? elections, and I have been absolutely stunned by the results of four of them. Any minute now, dogs and cats are going to start mating. That's how dramatically you people have altered reality. I'm considering a new survey called Is Water Wet? just to see what you characters come up with.

Actually, I want the next Does he suck?/Is he lame? subject to be democracy. Because it so sucks.

7 Comments:

Blogger Olson said...

Democracy doesn't suck, its just dangerous. I am eagerly awaiting the arguments for this debate.

Some clarifications, though, please. Will we be debating whether a "True Democracy" sucks, or the one by which our country is governed, because they are quite different. My answer will vary depending on which we are voting on.

1:53 PM  
Anonymous kbl said...

I've been advocating a meritocratic oligarchy (or an oligarchical meritocracy--I'm flexible) over democracy for years now. The "why" could not be emblematized more clearly than the results of suck/not suck.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous mark said...

ahhh olson so true. then we'd have to have a do the "do the results of the does democracy suck poll suck"...

sigh* right? other people's opinions.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Olson said...

kbl's idea is even scarier than a True Democracy.

Did anyone ever see the Simpson's Episode where Lisa and her Mensa pals ended running the city and fucking it to pieces before Stephen Hawking saved the day in his helicopter wheelchair?

Well, they were running the city with a so called meritocratic oligarchy, and we can all see how that ended.

3:44 PM  
Anonymous kbl said...

Yeah, I like my meritocracies just how I like my arguments: based on a cartoon show.

3:47 PM  
Anonymous cheddar said...

Yeah, this feature is kind of scaring me, because I'm assuming the people voting in it also vote for real-life issues.

I guess I'm not so puzzled as to why the country is headed for disaster any more.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Olson said...

Apologies, I was making a joke. I'll save the facetiousness for another day, I guess.

2:09 PM  

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