Under 30

I can't complain but sometimes I still do

Thursday, February 02, 2006

New blog feature: Does he suck?

I admit, I'm a judgemental guy. I make snap judgements about people, places, things, ideas and other nouns all the time. And I'm often wrong. (Upcoming blog feature: "I was wrong." Topics include Woody Allen, Ryan Adams and my mom's dumplings and sauce. Look for it!)

I'm trying to be less judgemental and more open to other points of view. Hence my new semi-regular blog feature, "Does he suck?" This represents tremendous growth for me. There was a time when I wouldn't bother asking. If I thought he sucked, he sucked. End of story.

But this is the dawn of a new enlightened time. I want to hear what you think. Our first installment features Dashboard Confessional, a.k.a. Chris Carrabba.

Not to sway the jury, but Dashboard obviously sucks. His MTV Unplugged special from a few years back is the single most disturbing pop music moment outside of Woodstock '99 from the past 15 years. Seeing all those creepy teenagers singing along to Dashboard's whiny wimp anthems at the tops of their lungs was like watching "Children of the Corn" re-enacted by the cast of Up With People.

But, hey, I could be wrong. My friend Erin thinks so. What do you think?

UPDATE: I'm keeping the polls open until NOON FRIDAY.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


1:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'll take an unpopular position here and say dashboard confessional doesn't ENTIRELY suck. emo kids suck, but we all know that. even they know that, which is why they're so insecure and want to talk about their feelings and dye their hair black and wear colorful sneakers and be all emo and "why don't you love me when i love you so much it tears my heart from my body and leaves my soul crying for someone to understand" all the time.

anyway, i have mr. dashboard in my alarm clock. he wakes me up every morning, and it's my desire to turn him off that gets me out of bed. that said, his voice is pleasant enough (if you ignore his lyrics), his guitar-playing is simple and clean, and i've been known to rock out to "vindicated" on a good day.

there are much worse musicians.

(but my pick for emo i'm ashamed to like will always go to jimmy eat world.)

9:43 AM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

that's one vote for suck, one for not suck.

this is anybody's ballgame, folks.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Cheddar said...

Um, emo doesn't suck, it pretty much is the definition of suck. Like, every war for the rest of time will be compared to World War II, and every basketball player to Michael Jordan, and every bad rapper to Vanilla Ice, when you say something sucks, it has to be relative to emo.

I.e., "This party sucks, but it's better than listening to emo," or, "Work was so bad today I almost wished I was listening to emo."

11:12 AM  
Blogger Thomas Roz said...

Definitely sucks. Reviewed them when they were at the Riverside Ballroom and Carrabba ended up standing right next to me near the bar. When fans realized who he was (I'm 5'5 on a good day and I had half a head on him), he bolted like Michael Jackson at a Bahrain shopping mall. Clearly he doesn't want anything to do with emo kids, either. Anyway, I stick by my review of three years ago:

"After an hour of the Alan Alda sensitivity routine, you no longer feel sorry for Carrabba's fragile psyche. Instead, you want to slap him silly before suggesting a night of debauchery to help ease the lingering pain.

Could a rock star get a hug, please?"

And just so you know that I'm not completely biased, I own albums by Promise Ring, Get Up Kids and Jimmy Eat World -- not their latest one, though. CRAP!

11:13 AM  
Anonymous mark said...


while i still enjoy the get up kids and promise ring i bought back in the 90's...


11:23 AM  
Blogger Krista said...

Uh. YOU suck.

Oh, and I vote DOESN'T SUCK.
"Emo" is the lamest term I've heard since people started typing "lol."

11:48 AM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...


12:40 PM  
Blogger Thomas Roz said...

I.e., "This party sucks, but it's better than listening to emo," or, "Work was so bad today I almost wished I was listening to emo."

Worse than nu-metal?

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Algorithm for determining suckiness:

1. Does it inspire this:
2. If no, it sucks.
3. If yes, it does not suck.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Algorithm for determining suckiness:

1. Does it inspire this?
a. If no, it sucks.
b. If yes, it does not suck.
2. Output suckiness.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Duke Ellington said...

I'm voting for "DOESN'T SUCK." Because, uh, I can.

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think he's on the non-sucky side of the tracks. But if he were to, say, be struck by a speeding (or very slow) train, then i could be so depressed and hate life... I could go set up a mourning vigil at the blood on the tracks.

Which is much better music.

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:41 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

UPDATE: Sucks got off to an early lead, but not sucks has now tied it up.

I count 4 to 4. That algorithm post, at this point, qualifies as a hanging chad, because it's not clear whether that's a vote for "suck" or "not suck."

Depending on how this election goes, the algorithm post could be huge.

Whoa, somebody just voted. Sucks is up, 5-4.

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so doesn't suck

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love dashboard!
does not suck.

2:46 PM  
Anonymous rebizzle said...

totally sucks. because i said so and i don't give a damn what anybody else has to say, and neither should you. you KNOW that they suck. deep down in your bones you know it.
so there. you've got my vote.
(and not in a good way)

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you throwing mine out, steve?

if so, then i give you the power to call mine non-suck.

appreciate it, frrrrreeeund.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous DashboardDuritz said...


3:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does he have an eyebrow growing on the side of his head?


3:51 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

The difference between a hater, and everyone else:

Hater: Dashboard sucks! Argh. DIE! Fire. Burn in hell emo-lovers! Death, destruction! Grrr. I hate the world!!!!

Everyone else: Doesn't suck.

It's quite simple.
P.S. I'd like to re-emphasize my "doesn't suck" vote.

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are we voting on him personally or the band dashboard as a whole?

if it is just him, what happens if you hate him in dashboard, but you liked him in the only good incarnation of further seems forever? and by only good incarnation i mean their second lead singer was good too.

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'd like to vote for "i don't think 'suck' is an appropriate newspaper blog word."

can i?

4:58 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

Again, your choices are "suck", "not suck" or some easily recognizable variation.

You guys are worse than Palm Beach senior citizens.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey my great uncle lives near palm beach. he has no issue with hanging chads ... and i may wager steves if you keep that up.


5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not Suck!!!!!

6:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who has ever been to a Dashboard show knows that it's not a cry-fest. It's fun. Chris is actually a pretty funny guy. You'll notice that he's grinning in that picture you put up. Now some of you will probably say "Well if he's happy and he writes emo songs, then he must be a sellout." Wrong again. If you listen to the new stuff, you'll hear that most of it is upbeat with a full band and everything. I wouldn't even go so far as to call him emo. I don't really think he fits in with all those other bands who wear makeup during shows and talk about how much life sucks.

So I guess you can tell where I stand. Doesn't suck.

6:54 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Doesn't suck, obviously.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is dashboard? No one could replace Frank so I guess eveyone but him sucks. I take that back. Everyone but Jimmy and Frank sucks. Uh, no wait a minute, everyone but Nat, Jimmy, and Frank sucks. Gotta go, my bran is getting soggy.

8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.S. I mean everyone but Nat, Jimmy, Frank and you of course, sucks. Ok, maybe your brother too.

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Your step-niece said...

I think that they are good. But, why are we commenting on this? That would be a "not suck"

(The bonus is that he is really cute)

8:51 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

A great moment in emo history: I went to see Weezer a few years ago and the Get-Up Kids opened. They were pretty average except for the first two songs: "Hello There" and "Surrender," which are both Cheap Trick tunes. And Rick Nielsen and Robin Zander joined them. THAT ruled.

Actually, that's probably just a great a moment in my personal Cheap Trick history. But it was great.

8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Weezer doesn't count as 'emo', does it? They were introduced to me by my much cooler 16 year old younger brother, but I still have my 'Blue Album' blue t-shirt with the original crew on the front and the Van Halen-y flying W on the back. I rocked out to 'Pinkerton' while getting my brains beat in and my heart stomped in grad school. Good times.

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3 votes for "he sucks" coming from me, myself and i. add on an extra two for my concious and my subconcious self. anyone with that many tattoos who's still crying after how many albums? really.. get over it.


11:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doesn't suck!
People may not like Chris's music or his voice, but anyone who doesn't like his lyrics has either 1 - never had their heart broken or 2 - never bothered to deal with the emotional pain that being royally screwed over brings.
The lyrics he writes are words that I can connect with. How many times in your life have you heard a song and thought "woah, in just a few words this guy was able to decribe exactly what I'm feeling when I couldn't even describe it myself?" I'm sure there's those of you out there that think this theory is stupid, but I'll chalk it up to the fact that you've probably never been in love.
Something else people should be aware of: most of what the pessimists would consider "whiny songs about heartbreak" were all written within a 3 week period after his fiance cheated on him. [source: "Nothing Feels Good" by Andy Greenwald] The average person would mourn the loss of a future that they had hoped would come true...I wouldn't put that in the "sucks" category...I'd put it in the "acutally able to talk about what he's feeling" category - and that's what girls dreams are made of.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Thomas Roz said...

If that's what girls dream of, why did his fiance cheat on him?

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Beth Jacobsen said...

oh snap the time is ticking I'll make this quick...

Dashboard (as the cool kids call it) doesn't suck. You know what sucks? relationships, my roommates self-proclaimed depression and her naturalist drunk crying, apartments "starving for an arguement," bending the pieces until they fit, infidelities (screaming ones), going unnoticed, those things suck. I think Emo stands for "emotional" and that explains everything. I think most of us Under 30ers can relate to their music and have it on when picking up a date without feeling embarassed, lets be honest that's what we are talking about. I like it, I am a sucker for good lyrics,

As for the semi-whiny voice, it's better than Brighteyes.

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"your hair is everywhere, screaming infedilities and taking its wear."

need i say more? SUCKS!

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

suck sucky suck suck suck

i kinda brighteyes though.

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Find a hobby. You obviously have no talent or life. If you had a life you'd be doing something besides putting down my favorite band and if you had a talent you'd be able to appreciate Chris's talent. He has more friends and fans than you, so die of sars or somthing... you're not helping the world by encouraging hate.

2:25 PM  
Blogger 6trung said...

All I know is that Dashboard Confessional is my favorite band, and Chris Carrabba is like my hero... and I'm not some lip ringed, eye liner wearing kid that tries to fit into my sisters pants... Dashboard is GOD! End Of Story!

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dashboard doesnt sucks...

its nice music with great lyrics and great sound...

greetz from Germany

6:17 AM  

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