This is why I'm not into bondage

Because I know I would be the guy who had a heart attack while strapped to the medieval rack. And then they would write stories like this about me.

Favorite passage: During his closing argument to the jury, prosecutor Robert Nelson put on a black leather mask with a zippered mouth opening and re-enacted the bondage session. With both hands, he reached back and clutched the top of a blackboard as if strapped to the rack. Then he hung his head as if dead.

Asher's lawyer objected, and the judge agreed.

"That's enough Mr. Nelson," Judge Charles Grabau said. "Thank you for your demonstration."

No, judge. Thank you!