The cool, refreshing rush of hatred

I write for a newspaper, and I often write about what I think, so I get my share of hate mail. After all these years (OK, five years), I sometimes wonder if I have become so jaded that the ability to hate a newspaper story written about somebody else has left me. Thanks to this, my fear has been abated.

I don't hate this story because I love Jon Stewart. I hate it because the guy makes an annoying argument. First off, he never says why Stewart isn't funny. He falls back on that age old track of ripping "the elite" for thinking that he's funny. If "the elite" finds him funny, he must be an elitist, right? Because, seriously, why doesn't this fella do more jokes about how his wife won't let him watch football?

This leads into the second thing I hate about the story: the guy either is an idiot or deliberately misleading with numbers. I quoth: Take a look at the Nielsen figures for the show, and the numbers are startling. This supposedly terrific program, with its high hipness factor - people actually say they get their only news from "The Daily Show" - is averaging 1.3 million viewers in January, most of them men between the ages of 18 and 49. During November, the political high season in which Stewart and his cohorts supposedly thrive, the show averaged 1.45 million viewers ... For comparison, Nielsen estimates there are 218 million people over the age of 18 in the nation's 112 million homes with televisions.

I'm not even going to waste my time debunking the popularity=good argument. Does this guy really believe that every single one of those 218 million people watch TV every single minute of the day every day? Does he believe even 50 percent of them do? What is he, 5? Even if all those people were TV-obsessed shut-ins, they have 500 channels to choose from. That tends to divide the audience a bit. But Huff addresses this point.

Now, before the legions of Stewartites start bellyaching that the show airs on Comedy Central, so the numbers are going to be smaller, stop. Comedy Central is in 88 million homes, so it's well-distributed.

Again, he's either stupid or misleading. Being in a home doesn't mean the channel is being watched. I have approximately 79 channels that I have never, ever watched in my life. If a cable show can get over a million vierwers, that's a success.

I did write this guy some knee-jerk hate mail, by the way:

Hey Richard,

I'm sorry you don't like Jon Stewart. Unfortunately, Larry the Cable Guy wasn't available to host the Oscars. Maybe Carrot Top is free?

A member of the non-masses,

Steven Hyden

I admit, my references were easy. But I was too busy enjoying the hatred to care.