Under 30

I can't complain but sometimes I still do

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Soccer still boring

Big surprise! Americans don't care about the World Cup!

ABC reported overnight ratings for Saturday's England-Paraguay game and for Sunday's Mexico-Iran game at 2.7 _ about 3 million households for each. Spanish-language network Univision was also televising the games. Figures for Monday's game involving the Americans won't be available until Tuesday.

By comparison, the French Open women's final, televised early Saturday on NBC, drew viewers in about 1.9 million households. Even on its worst nights, the Winter Olympics drew about 16 million viewers in February.


Personally, I haven't watched a World Cup game yet. And I don't plan on it. I cop to an unabashed bias against soccer fostered by a number factors, including: (1) the game's overall suckiness and lack of spectator appeal (at least for my dullard American sensibility); (2) knowing too many a-holish soccer players in high school; (3) the soccer nazis who keep trying to make the sport popular in America; (4) it interrupts America's perfect sports calendar that includes football in the fall, basketball in the winter and spring, and baseball in the spring, summer and early fall; (5) orange slices.

Any soccer fans out there? Can I make fun of you?

56 Comments:

Blogger Steve Hyden said...

Come on, soccer fan! ID yourself! Of course, if you were a real man, you wouldn't play soccer, would you?

Snap!

I'm gonna try to watch some soccer tonight. Every time I try I fall asleep. But, hey, this time could be different!

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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12:03 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

Thanks for that clip, Anonymous. I'm definitely writing my Under 30 column on this topic, and the Slate story supports my central point.

Touche, Paulie. Using someone's own words against them is pure Hyden.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only foreigners like soccer. SNAP!

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

football in the football? five orange slices? am i missing something here???

t schwy is a soccer player.... maybe you should make fun of him.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Many people would say that soccer is the latte or the Subaru of the sporting spectrum,"


is that a serious comment? 'cause i don't even know what the fuck thats supposed to mean.

2:01 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

Thanks Mark for summing up the main reason I hate soccer: Condescending soccer fans. This argument that you must be stupid for not liking it is what irritates me. (See first post.)

I still love you, too, Mark.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go Spain.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

Other stuff the rest of the world likes and Americans don't: David Hasselhoff albums, Jordy, David Beckham, Mission Impossible III, boring sitcoms starring John Clease that air on PBS, armpit hair.

That's all I can think of now.

Soccer sucks. It's a bunch of dudes running around in shorts kicking a ball. Who gives a crap?

2:14 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

Why can't Americans just hate soccer? Why does it have to be a reflection of some deficiency on our part? Is soccer so inherently great that you must be an ADD-adled moron if you don't like it?

Writing this column is going to be a blast. I'm getting surprisingly riled up about this. Who knew I cared about soccer so much? Weird.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some of the new ruling parties in Iraq agree with you Steve!

http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_riverbendblog_archive.html#114902032905572434
----------------------------------
As it turns out, Muqtada has a fatwa against football (soccer). I downloaded it and this is a translation of what he says when someone asks him for a fatwa on football and the World Cup:

“In reality, my father's position on this topic isn't deficient... Not only my father but Sharia also prohibits such activities which keep the followers too occupied for worshiping, keep people from remembering [to worship]. Habeebi, the West created things that keep us from completing ourselves (perfection). What did they make us do? Run after a ball, habeebi… What does that mean? A man, this large and this tall, Muslim- running after a ball? Habeebi, this ‘goal’ as it is called… if you want to run, run for a noble goal. Follow the noble goals which complete you and not the ones that demean you. Run after a goal, put it in your mind and everyone follows their own path to the goal to satisfy God. That is one thing. The second thing, which is more important, we find that the West and especially Israel, habeebi the Jews, did you see them playing soccer? Did you see them playing games like Arabs play? They let us keep busy with soccer and other things and they've left it. Have you heard that the Israeli team, curse them, got the World Cup? Or even America? Only other games... They've kept us occuppied with them- singing, and soccer, and smoking, stuff like that, satellites used for things which are blasphemous while they occuppy themselves with science etc. Why habeebi? Are they better than us- no we're better than them.”

Important note: Islamic Sharia does not prohibit soccer/football or sports- it’s only prohibited by the version of Sharia in Muqtada’s dark little head. I wonder what he thinks of tennis, swimming and yoga…

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who's sully?

3:38 PM  
Blogger Steve Hyden said...

hating soccer = way to end war with Iraq

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

understanding football requires understanding passion

2:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great blog steve - why not pop over to ours - we have a slightly different slant on the world cup that might raise a smile for you!

http://cornflakesarenice.blogspot.com/

10:22 AM  
Blogger Thomas Rozwadowski said...

This discussion is sort of like Suck-Lame reincarnated.

By the way, I'm a sports nut who watches virtually every nanosecond of the NFL Draft and soccer is boooooooooooring.

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're boring

12:00 PM  
Blogger Thomas Rozwadowski said...

only when i play soccer

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Soccer is not an exciting spectator sport. Ditto for baseball, unless it's October. Soccer is like the metric system. No matter how much people talk up its merits, it will never catch on in America.

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stealth suck/lame with more opinionated goodness and steve comments. bravo.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Thomas Rozwadowski said...

has anyone mentioned how ridiculous it is to see grown men writhe on the ground as if they've just been shot in the leg whenever someone sweeps them to the ground? it's part of the game. you get knocked down. not everything has to evoke a face of sheer terror as though you'll never walk again. and (poof) seconds later, they're running at full speed again. i respect the conditioning of soccer players -- tough sport to play, and my old man was really good -- but i still don't want to watch it on tv. viva cameroon!

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes

5:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Australia agrees with you. Soccer is dead boring and we too have soccer nazis trying to make the game popular here too . . and they want to change its name to Football. We already have Football - Australian Football.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now, Australian football ... that s%$# rocks hardcore. I wish ESPN still aired it.

If the World Cup was played by Aussie rules, I'd watch it.

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will give you this much...at least you didn't say there was NO skill in football (what it should be called). Most of the people that rip on soccer have never played it and probably do not have the stamina or skills to play. Let me kick a ball at you from 20 yards away and see if you can control it with your thigh, foot or chest. That is control and that is skill. GO USA!!!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

HEY, FIRST TELL ME HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE FOOTBALL (WHICH SHOULD NOT BE NAMED FOOTBALL BECAUSE THEY BARLY EVEN USE THEIR FEET)AS THEIR NATIONAL SPORT AND HOW MANY HAVE SOCCER AS THEIR NATIONAL SPORT. SECOND YOU THINK SOCCER IS BORING BECAUSE SOCCER IS FOR SMART PEOPLE BECASUE THERES NO PLAYS, YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR BRAIN UNLIKE FOOTBALL WHICH ALL THE PLAYS ARE WRITTEN DOWN AND IN BASEBALL THERE IS NOTTIN TO THINK AND BASKETBALL IS JUST TRYING TO BE SOCCER JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER SPORTS. OK, IN SOCCER, THERE IS A REAL WORLD CHAMPION UNLIKE THE NFL,NBA,AND MLB. SOCCER IS SO BIG THAT FOOTBALL HAD TO STILL ITS NAME. SOCCER IS BEAUIFUL, IT WAY BETTER THEN ANY OTHER SPORT. THATS WHY IN MOST OF THE WORLD SOCCER IS A RELGION AND WE HOPE THAT WILL HAPPEN HERE IN THE US.

10:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

listen soccer fans are not trying to change the usa into thinking soccer is the number one sport.but you can stop saying crap about a sport you have no clue about you think soccer is just kicking well first of all there is a lot more to it then you really think theres control try having a ball coming at you in the air with three guys on you try and trap it with your feet chest or pass it with your head second soccer is a passing game you dont just bomb it up the feild and hope for it to go in you pass the ball run into positions to try and make oppurtunitties third is that you actully have to think while your playing you have to be fast know where your players are read plays before they happen fourth it isnt just about the world cup in fact most of the world barley talks about it until its close by there are many diffrent competitons barclays english premire league la liga.also soccer is not moms in miny vans taking there children to a game.those kind of people have no clue how the sport is played or anything about it they come to assumtions after watching there children play.ok think about this how many people watch the world cup ok now think how many people watch the super bowl.oh yea diving is a very big problem and i agree with you guys on that.and the nazi thing is really not bad its a sport loved by the world and its peace ful and theres no racism the nazis were terrible yes i agree but what were they doing trying to put the sport at popularity so bad you americans think every one is out to get you that is why your so self contained you have the most racism and your just ignerent about the world.

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its not just USA where this sport does not reign supreme
New Zealand and Australa love Rugby but not soccer its dullsville
The thrill of 1 nil (not) the bore of a draw or the ho hum of 2-1 take your pick..I mite try and watch some soccer tonite and somehow I will try to stay awake this time
KIWIFELLA

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love soccer because it is CONTINUOUS. No stopping and starting. No time-outs or commercial breaks.

Other sports have too many interruptions and I always end up turning off the TV.

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Brandon said...

Soccer is one of the easiest and cheapest games to play and thus the reason its so popular...but in America, we like to challenge ourselves, so we made a somewhat complicated sport which involves the coordination and strength building of not only our legs but almost every major muscle in the body...when the US was formed after the Revolutionary War we set out to evolve our ideals from traditional England practices... American football is one of the many testaments of a Revolution 220 years in the making, its one of the many things that set the US apart from the world and thus helping make the most powerful nation in the world...its not popularity that makes a nation great its the individuality that sets that nation apart from others

6:22 AM  
Anonymous Brandon said...

And me, I'm not one of those people who dog on a sport if I've never played it...I played soccer for 8 years, starting in first grade all the way up to 9th, then i started lifting weights and was offered to play American football from the coach at my high school, since then I have absolutely fallen in love with the sport. The complexity of the plays kept my mind ripe, while the overall stamina and strength of not only my legs, but entire body, increased...It actually made me feel like i wasted 8 years of my life to a bourish sport(soccer) when i could have been playing American football the whole time...and i know this is a stereotype but usually relatively weak or short people tend to play a sport like soccer but it takes a physically strong person to play American football...in laments terms, theres more people in the world that more closely match the physique of a soccer player than a NFL player, which is another reason soccer is such a widely played sport, it doesnt demand as much work...simply put, its a poor/lazy mans sport...I shudder at the integrity of the world

6:48 AM  
Anonymous Brandon said...

And if you English people got anything right, it was definately rugby, I absolutely love that sport. Its kind of like our American football but without the pad.

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If you take a good look around, you may notice quite a bit published on [url=http://cungmuachungnhom.com/thoi-trang.html]Thoi trang nam[/url]. The thing about so much of this is there are factors that will have an influence on what you can expect to use. You can find good sites to read that you can rely on, however not all you need is necessarily in one place. The maddening part about it is you could find out you have to perform even additional research. This can prove to be a challenge for anyone if you need very specific kinds of information and help. Here are a couple of things we have discovered about this topic, and ideally it will be a few more pieces of the puzzle for you.

The relative complexities of men's and women's fashion

Both women and men may have the difficulties of keeping their clothing up-to-date and in time, yet men's fashion frequently seems a lot easier. Of course, for both genders, outfits and fashion choices could be equally as complicated, and there are many'fashionable'things that can rapidly become fashion faux pas - who will say they often times see people travelling in 70s flames? On the other hand, men's fashion features a few staple goods that will exist eternally - which man is likely to keep an eye out of position with a good-quality, tailored suit, for example? Pick classic cuts, colours and fabrics and you'll never seem out-of-place.

Why basic men's style is eternal

The traditional man's suit has barely changed for over a hundred years. True, there are many versions for various events, however they are all popular in their search for a wise, sharp search for the person. The best part about classic style for men is that it's effortlessly trendy efficiently neat. A well-groomed man will almost always appear his sharpest in a well-tailored suit, and it is a testament to the style of such clothing. A suit will be utilized to work in many jobs because of the professional search it provides to the individual, instilling a sense of respect and trust. Equally a match will undoubtedly be worn to many social occasions, like a tuxedo to a black-tie event. This amazing versatility that allows suits to be worn in just about all situations is what gives it its eternal side and a permanent devote men's fashion.

Contemporary movements in traditional men's style

Though basic men's styles will never be changed, it is interesting to remember that changes in men's fashion trends have produced certain common garments back to fashion. The popularity of vintage clothing, especially, has brought back a wide-variety of basic designs into men's closets, such as that of the dandy guy. 'Dandy'is a term used to make reference to men who clothe themselves in a classic yet expensive way, placing value on appearance and operating in a polished manner. This pattern for almost'over-the-top'traditional fashion for men is evident from events including the'Tweed Run', where men and girls of all ages clothe themselves in particularly Victorian-style clothing and decide to try the roads on vintage bikes - with lots of the men wearing remarkable mustaches! That is only one of several examples of data exhibiting the resurgence of such types. There are also numerous blogs online which concentrate on gentlemanly style - such as'The Dandy Project'and'Dandyism'- as well as entire websites such as'The Art of Manliness'focused on providing articles on classic men's fashion and grooming.

In conclusion, although certain facets of basic men's fashion can be brought back as new styles, the essential clothes which they are derived from will never slip out of fashion.

"All it takes are a few simple costumes. And there is one secret - the easier the better." - Cary Grant

StyleGun is an online men's fashion retailer with a technical angle.
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6:27 AM  
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