A wishlist for the Fox Cities

This week's cover story for The P-C's Weekend section is a wishlist of entertainment-related stuff for the Fox Cities.

Here is our top five wishes. Read the rest of the list on Thursday.

5. An all-ages music venue: Kids love seeing bands. Bands love playing for kids. But in the Fox Cities, kids can’t see bands on a regular basis at a regular venue.

Places like The Monkeywrench in Appleton and Rock ‘n’ Roll High School in Green Bay did well for a while, but bottled water and Mountain Dew don’t pay the bills as well as beer and booze. It’s too bad, because some of the area’s best bands (and music fans) aren’t 21 yet. And they appreciate live music more than us geezers. Give the kids a place to rock.

4. More attractive singles: With a name like Fox Cities, you would think this area would be crawling with hotties. But looking for attractive singles in northeast Wisconsin can be like hunting for sharks in the Fox River. Even with a lot of patience, you probably won’t be successful.

Not to be mean, but most of the singles we see in bars make joining the priesthood look like a sexy alternative. Maybe they are trying too hard with their designer clothes, expensive haircuts and fake suntans. Then again, we would rather stare at these people than talk to them. Not that the office politics of the insurance company where you work aren’t fascinating, but still. All we want are cute, funny people with good taste in beer and music (not necessarily in that order). Is that too much too ask?

3. A radio station geared toward people who actually like music: Unless you work in a dentist office, you probably find local radio a little borrriiinnngggzzz.

Sorry, we dozed off there. Look, we don’t have a problem with country, “soft favorites” from the 1980s and 90s or Top 40 if that’s your thing. But there’s this new music genre called hip-hop that’s mildly popular outside of northeast Wisconsin. Might be nice to hear it on the radio again. We would also kill to have a station that plays indie/alternative rock. And we’re not talking about Shinedown or whatever crap band that bald guy from “American Idol” likes.

2. A movie theater that plays good movies: The biggest fans of local movie theaters are local video storeowners. Thanks to the limited selection of flicks on the area’s big screens, movie buffs have to wait to see non-mainstream films on DVD.

In a way, we’re cool with that, because going to a movie theater usually entails dealing with some jerk yammering on his cell phone and kicking your seat. Who wants to suffer through that? But it would be nice to see all these cool independent and foreign films we’re always reading about in magazines the same year they come out.

1. More people who “get it”: For any of the things on this list to become a reality, we need more people who “get it.”

We’re talking about people who didn’t giggle every time Jake Gyllenhaal looked longingly at Heath Ledger in “Brokeback Mountain.” We’re talking about people who have never seen an episode of “According to Jim.” We’re talking about people who want to plunge ice picks in their ears when Nickelback, Staind or some other awful band is booked again at a local venue. We know you’re out there, people who get it. Please reproduce among yourselves.