A first-person account from a Screech stalker

I wrote a column a few weeks ago about not wanting to meet my idols because it seems potentially weird, awkward and disappointing. My friend Tom Roz does not share this philosophy. Last weekend he tracked down Dustin "Screech" Diamond's Port Washington address and bumrushed his suburban house.

If you click the link, you'll see that Tom goes on forever about the experience, even though he didn't actually meet Screech. Tom is a "Saved By the Bell" freak. We have this ongoing argument over whether the show is legitimately funny. He swears there are moments where the writers were clever. I maintain that if not for the existence of irony and marijuana, there's no way "SBTB" would be on DVD.

Anyway, here's my favorite part of the post where Tom talks about meeting Screech's Kato Kaelin-like houseguest in the driveway.

Kato somewhat awkwardly responded that it was the Screechmeister's humble pad and I let him know of our interest in buying two T-shirts. Scott and I could sense his hesitancy, but ultimately he was polite and said "sure." I then asked if Dustin was home, to which he responded rather quickly "no." For the record, I believe this to be the case, and frankly, the encounter was rather anti-climactic considering we were now dealing with a middleman, not the actual Samuel "Screech" Powers. Had Kevin the Robot been present, I would have perked up considerably ... but I digress. Our new friend then asked our sizes, got us two T-shirts and we proceeded to get our picture taken in front of the house on our way back to Corey's car. I apologized for any potential rudeness for ambushing the mystery houseguest in Screech's driveway, and he actually laughed, which still has me baffled as to whether we are one of the first tag-teams to approach the T-shirt sale in this guerilla fashion.

Yes, Tom did make a Kevin the Robot reference, which means his "SBTB" fandom has officially gone from "cute" to "uncomfortable."