Does he suck? election update: You like "Napoleon Dynamite"! You really freaking like it!

Well, the vote ain't very close right now. I count 16 votes, five for Suck and 11 for Not Suck. That's a butt-whoopin' no matter which way you slice it. But don't count your chickens yet, Not Suckers. I believe in God and democracy, and one of them has to come through for me sooner or later.

Speaking of which, I pretty much let my "impartial" tag go out the window long ago. So I'll just come out and state the obivous: I think "Napoleon Dynamite" sucks. (I almost said, "I know 'Napoleon Dynamite' sucks," but I don't want to see my friend Lori break down and start quivering her chin again, so I won't. Who said I wasn't sensitive?)

And let me also say this: A big reason I think "Napoletion Dynamite" sucks is all these people told me how great it was before I saw it, and then a whole bunch more people said it was great after I saw it. And the actual film itself is completely mediocre and packed with exactly one laugh. (I can't remember what it was because I fell asleep for 20 minutes.)

If I had seen "Napoleon Dynamite " in a vacuum, would I hate it? Probably not. I would have forgotten about it. But I didn't see it in a vacuum and I can't pretend I did. "Napoleon Dynamite" sucks because it's a perfect example of something being rewarded for (not despite) being amateurish crap. And, for me at least, that is a perfectly acceptable reason to go from ambivilance to dislike.

Did I persaude any Non-Suckers? Didn't think so. Hey, maybe I'm wrong! ""Gah, Tina, you fat lard." HA! That's great! I get it now! Give me some more of that "Napoleon Dynamite" Kool-Aid!

Looks like my only hope now is for a whole bunch of people to Google "Napoleon Dynamite sucks" between now and noon Friday. Keep voting, and post suggestions for future Does he suck? elections. I'm looking for any nouns or verbs of debatable suckitude.