Put This In A Time Capsule: Sorry About That Whole Banning Marriage For Gays Thing

Dear People Of 2056:

By the time you read this, I will be dead. By dead, I mean in my late 70s with little or no bladder control. And I’ll probably be bald, too. Great. Anyway, by that time I won’t care what you think of me. But I care now. Desperately care. Because my state just passed a constitutional amendment that bans gay marriage.

I find this embarrassing and ridiculous in 2006, so I imagine you must be having a real field day with it in 2056. Progress being, well, progress, gays surely can marry in your society. Overturning the amendment will have been tough, but you can’t stop history. Minority groups always attain more rights over time, not less. It’s what allows future generations to look back and feel superior to the yahoos who came before. Unfortunately, I am now one of those yahoos.

Except I’m not. I voted against that stupid amendment. So did about 860,000 other Wisconsin residents. That means we were part of the progress you currently enjoy the fruits of. So don’t judge us too harshly. Remember that some of us had a vision of a better, more enlightened society where religion isn’t used as an excuse to put part of the population on a lower plane. Trust me, we are nothing compared to those ding-dongs from 1996, or 1986. (You don’t even want to know about 1976.)

We weren’t all yahoos in 2006, people of 2056. Now please, change my diaper.

Your pal,

Steven Hyden